Razzle Me Dazzle~Barry Conner Hendersonville NC

Razzle me dazzle....dazzler..... It's me Poopenstein-the-cat. I got into daddy's stash of "catnip." He left the gummy bears out on the countertop and low and behold I caught Charles Manson eating some so I took what he had left because he has cat diabetes and can't have the sweets and ate them to save him from shock. And now I'm feeling not so good. I could swear those gummies had some rum or beer in them.

Oh wait, what am I doing? This is supposed to be a welcome post. Well, welcome.....Just ignore the first paragraph, the one where I ate to much catnip.

Is catnip a drug? Apparently so from one post I saw online and can people consume catnip? Another post says yes. That's probably why I see daddy indulging in catnip and we don't have any.

"I have personal experience with this. I adopted a cat that had previously been addicted to catnip. I didn't know about it until a friend gave me homegrown catnip, which was far more potent than store bought. A small amount caused a catnip craze, which I had not expected. I was trying to get the cats to use the scratching post, actually. Once the effects wore off, my cat cried and cried. She spent three days crying next to that scratching post. 

I felt terrible because she was inconsolable. 

I'm sure there's no harm in the average catnip-stuffed mouse. I suspect she was given large doses frequently to cause this. I strongly discourage giving cats so much that they act crazy." My, my, this just horrible a kitty crazed, drug phased cat half out of it;s mind and begging for it's addiction. Does this make sense to anyone else?

"And my personal favorite: Actually catnip is an herb beneficial to people as well. It relaxes the body and mind. I mix a little with dried rose petals for a nice bedtime tea." Daddy, you can now have catnip tea. Wait a second, is daddy listening. I don't think he can hear me over Seinfeld. His other nightly addiction. I think daddy's familiar with catnip tea. This is what I see him drinking before he goes to bed. That and that crappy, sweet smelling tobacco he smokes every night. Personally, I think he's smoking those urinated on grass blades that Mr. Squirrel told me to eat right before he peed on them and sat on a tree branch and laughed at me as I barfed them up one at a time and the smell was putrid. I think Mr. Squirrel has cirrhosis of the liver. No wait the liver has nothing to do with the kidney's right? Daddy, are you listening? I have a question. You always answer Charles Manson or Hitler. So why not me? Is it because I'm not named after a serial killer? Oh, this brings me to my next razzle dazzle post. Are you listening, daddy? BTW, I need my litter box scooped. Turn off the TV and step away slowly and get the scooper and get to scooping. I need to go. And if it's not done in 5 minutes I will poop in front of your bedroom door. Good luck cleaning that stinky pile off your bare foot? Did you hear me daddy?

Written by Poopenstein-the-cat. A british longhair aka highlander cat. Dedicated to Barry Gueva Conner Hendersonville NC****Daddy Barry is a good daddy.